I hang on
because someone needs to
notice hummingbirds nuzzling
fuchsia blossoms while blurry nurses
appear disappear between me and the
window pushing fluids in cups of piss-yellow
mystery cold condensation drips like tears
bent straws tick on teeth stick to swollen
lips sucking fumble-tongued
condition is critical
I must
watch squirrels scurry
taking care to spread limbs akimbo
before they soar aspen-to-aspen quake
orange leaves on landing head nurse hisses
‘shit I can’t believe last shift didn’t change
that bandage bedpan IV’ then the raw rip
of gauzy skin along thin line dividing live
tissue from dead deep bed sores
consume me
I marvel
as turquoise gem-eyed
dragonflies swoop at targets—there
there over there—only they can see why
is everything going wrong so fast we must
check Earth’s vital signs Her pulse is faltering
temperature rising total shut-down of all
systems is near nurse wakes me says
‘only a nightmare’ asks do I feel
well enough to have a visitor
I try to
hang on
to words of smiling lawyer
‘we won the case a million for you
before fees of course no admission of
guilt for those three lost babies your dead
spouse’ the smile fades when iridescent fog
rolls in again from good poison meant to fix
effects of bad poison that seeped from
factory to faucet to water we drank
as if our lives didn’t depend on it
makes me retch
vomit choke
I wave
lawyer away see tawny
raccoons claw-tick across asphalt
metallic gleam of green bottle-flies hobo
spider’s funnel web capture unwary prey like
us snared by bad actors in silky harlequin suits
who toss remediation trinkets—chump change—
and hide behind corporate masks it doesn’t
matter now words mean nothing I must
focus on osprey soaring water ouzels
dipping dancing diving wild into
the world while it is and
I am still here
Kate Boyes is a speculative nature writer who focuses on the near-future environments of Earth, Mars, and several choice exoplanets. Her work is included in Climbing Lightly Through Forests, a poetry anthology honoring Ursula K. Le Guin, and will be published in the upcoming 2023 Horror Writers Association Poetry Showcase X. Her debut novel Trapped in the R.A.W., was published by Aqueduct Press.