Breaking Open
Sharada Manns
There are so many things
I haven’t told you
I’m hooked up now
to this ventilator
Son, I won’t be around
to see you get older
So, here are some things
I wish I’d told you
When you were born and
I got to hold you
I looked in your eyes
knew I’d protect you
with my life
teach you everything
I know
Teach you this world can be cruel
Can be cold
Some folks will judge you
if you don’t conform to their mold
They’ll hate you
for your ideas, the color of your skin
They’ll hate you no matter
how soft you are within
Some folks will play God
they’ll take your life into their hands
You think
no point in explaining;
they’ll never understand
You think
you’re just a number
a statistic they say
You pray your soul won’t miss
the luminous light of day
Accept them, Son, it’s time
to get off the beaten track
You don’t know their story
their star-spangled jaded glory
Accept yourself first;
God’s got your back
Accept, but don’t ever tolerate
cause if you do, you imbibe the hate
that’s under the surface;
waiting to erupt
like hot coal in a furnace
Hate is the fire
that doesn’t serve us
we’re engulfed in the very thing
that wants to hurt us
You’re older now, Son
I got to confess
You were just two years old
When your mother left
She knew she had to go;
She left us bereft
Napoleon’s needle, still clinging to the vein
Around her neck, the liquid hot chains
Son, I tried to stop her
but she’d had enough
The constant struggle
was real enough
It may seem
she didn’t care enough
Truth is, this disease
got nothing to do with love
Truth is
every day you have a choice
You can choose to stand in the rain
Breathe out your fear and pain
Give those who can’t speak, a voice
Anyone can fire the rounds for longer
Your will to protest
is louder and stronger
It will carry across the oceans
Give hope to the hearts that are broken
You turn 15 today, and I can’t even see you
Son, I’m gonna to tell you this to free you
Use your intellect, the power of what you believe
For what you know is right, don’t ever leave
Without a fight. That’s right, you weave
your own path
God’s always got your back.
My baby boy, know I’ll always love you
I can’t breathe, wish I could hold you
Just one more time would be so fine
Just one more time…
•••
Sharada Manns is a medicinal chemist by profession, currently researching Covid-19 inhibitors as inhalant therapy. She is part of a wonderful women’s poets circle in Wilmington, Delaware. This is her first published poem and she is thrilled to share it in The Poetry Distillery.